COLLETTE WALSH
PITTSBURGH, PA
Collette has worked on farms for 8 years, off and on. She is currently farming her own cut flower operation on ½ acre in Pittsburgh, PA.
WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY DOING? (WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING, ETC)
I am leasing property through a non-profit that started two years ago in the PIttsburgh area. I have my own flower operation. Most of my stuff is at that field site, but I also have some flowers growing at my own house in Braddock.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FARMING?
I’ve been farming for about 8 or 9 years, off and on. It’s been a mix of vegetables, flowers and fruit. I’ve also done on-farm education for kids, a mix of all of that. The past couple years has been more of a focus on direct for-profit farming.
WHAT INITIALLY BROUGHT YOU TO THE FIELDS?
I think a lot of things. I grew up in Brooklyn. We raised chickens in our backyard when I was in high school. I enjoyed that. There was also an urban farm in my neighborhood that I would help out during a couple summers in high school and college. It peaked my interest. I have always been a tactile person. I went to school and did that, but I never felt like school was something that was where I was at or where I super excelled at . I was a solid student, but it never really resonated with me. Being able to be really physical always resonated. I also have my own mental stuff - anxiety, a little depression and being able to be outside and using my body to get out of my mind has always been really good for me. Farming has filled a lot of different roles for me over time. Every year I go back to that question and the answer changes.
When I was in college, I worked on farms in the summer time or for independent study. When I graduated - within a week - I moved to Birmingham, Alabama to work on an urban farm for about a year. It was full production and had educational components to it. 75% of the time was spent in the field working. After that I was in a place where I wanted to learn more science and background about agriculture and concentrate on the production element of it. I went to farm on a CSA farm, 15 acres in the Hudson valley. I was there for a season and did that, mainly vegetables with a concentration on greens and tomatoes. I felt like I wasn’t getting a lot of that background and science, and I wanted to know the details of what we are doing and why, so I applied to the CASFS (Center for Agroecology and Sustainable Food Systems) program and did that.
Then I was offered a job in Alabama that ended up falling through. I was feeling really overwhelmed and needing to take a step back for a moment or find a job that I really wanted. My grandmother is in Pittsburgh and I knew one person here. I wanted to go somewhere that I didn’t have to completely start over. My grandma has a little bit of land, and I just wanted to experiment to see what I could do by myself.
At that point, I didn’t even know what I could do - do I even know how to do this?
It was a year of solitude. A year alone doing some growing stuff.
WHY HAVE YOU CHOSEN TO FARM FOR SOMEONE ELSE (NOW OR IN THE PAST?)
I think it’s really important to learn from other people. I think for me it is always something I’ve been really curious about, since becoming involved in ag in high school. There is a lot of value in learning from different farmers and different farms and learning different people’s systems and run their operations. For me, a big part of it was having that chance and opportunity to see other people’s farm operations. I felt like it was something I could learn from and get paid to do as well instead of branching off and doing it by myself.
I’ve seen a lot of people do that before - they don’t work for other people and kinda just start farming. It’s fine, you can learn as you go, but I find an incredible amount of value in farming for other people. It’s incredible exposure that helps me form my opinion about what practices work for me.
Farming for other people offers a community element, the what comes along with farming. It offered me exposure to other people who I wouldn’t necessarily be working with. I lived in Birmingham, Alabama for a year otherwise I wouldn’t have done that.
It’s offered me a vast network. When I’m freaking out, like seeing some pest, I have 20 people I can call and ask their opinions about it.
WHAT ARE SOME ISSUES FOR FARMERS WORKING ON SOMEONE ELSE'S FARM - ISSUES THAT YOU'VE WITNESSED OR EXPERIENCED?
I haven’t worked for another person in a couple years, but things that I remember was just the feeling that my time was valued, or being used efficiently. Sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn’t.
I didn’t feel really valued as an employee.
What made me jump to go to CASFS is that for a handful of years, I had 8 million questions. I think for me what was hard was for the many years working for others, I had lots of questions, and there's not always time to answer them in July when you’re working really hard and everyone is really busy. So something for me that was always missing was that I didn’t get to ask all the questions. In the ideal world, I’d have an hour after every workday to ask what I wanted to ask and learn why we were doing certain things. That was always pretty hard for me, which is why I went to CASFS, because you could have the space to ask those questions and efficiency wasn’t the main priority there.
At the end of the day, it is the farm owners’s rodeo. It is their operation and what they say goes and there is space depending on who it is of course, but there wasn’t always flexibility or freedom that I wanted to feel to do things a certain way. At that time, that was something that was frustrating to me.
Now I’m in this position, figuring out the systems that work for me. When I have folks working for me, I want them to feel empowered and do things certain ways, but I do have a certain knowledge of the ground and need things to be done a certain way for the flow to work.
CAN YOU TELL ME THE QUALITIES OF A DREAM FARM NOT LEADING TO OWNERSHIP - THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO WORK ON?
I don’t want to own my own farm. I think for a long time I did, but now I don’t. It becomes all consuming. It takes over your life for 8-9 months of the year. I love that, but I also don’t want to. the older I get, the more I want to have more control over my days. With certain types of farming, it’s your life the second it’s light out til it’s dark. Whenever it’s just you, there is a lot that you carry.
I’m just in the process of figuring out what that medium is. Having a business partner, or a farming partner. I don’t have the desire to farm with a romantic partners, but I do have a desire to farm with another person to take on the responsibilities.
To me, a dream farm would be a lot of things but having a long term lease situation. I don’t know if I would necessarily want ownership of the land. That brings a lot of ties to it, like what if you have children who don’t want this farm? I’ve seen a lot of older generation farmers who are kind of stuck in this place where they have invested so much time and money, and heart and soul, and it’s hard to find a right fit. So figuring out some kind of lease situation. I like having a size of a farm that seems manageable for one or two people on an acre to two acres - that’s my max.
I’m also a city kid and a lot of my farming has been in urban spaces. I’d love to be farming in the city, creating space for folks that is visible that people can be involved in and feel connected to. It’s also easier to employ people that way and have people come out to the farm when you’re in the city. I think farming can be really isolating and it’s a hard choice and has a tendency to be isolating. Having a farm in the city can combat that isolation. If i want to go dancing at night, I could go do that if I have the energy. To be wrapped up on a farm in a rural place in isolation is just not a lifestyle that I want. Being in an urban space offers a lot of diversity. I’m in a process of creating that. Having people diversity on our farm is incredibly important to me. And when you’re stuck in a more rural space, it’s a lot harder to create those connections.
“I took time away from hardcore farming for awhile and I feel like I completely lost my identity. I don’t even know who I am without this thing. That feeling and that connection to that identity is something that feels so good to me. It feels so a part of me.”
WHAT KEEPS YOU COMING BACK?
I’m really stubborn. And for me, farming is very thrilling.
I was thinking about it this winter - should I just do something completely different? I don’t even know what I would do at this point. It feels ingrained in my body and in my mind. It feels like something I have to do at this point because I’ve been doing it for awhile. Especially this time of year, when things are starting to bloom, warmth in the air, it feels really right to me to be working outside. It just feels built into my DNA at this point.
I took time away from hardcore farming for awhile and I feel like I completely lost my identity. I don’t even know who I am without this thing. That feeling and that connection to that identity is something that feels so good to me. It feels so a part of me.
WHAT IS YOUR TAKE ON THE DIFFERENCE (IF ANY) BETWEEN A FARMER AND A "FARM WORKER"/"FARM EMPLOYEE" BESIDES PROPRIETORSHIP?
They feel like words that are so dependent on what type of operation you are running.
I remember when I was farming upstate New York, I applied for this job and I didn’t look at the job description. I figured, oh it’s an apprenticeship or something, the whole way it was described, it felt very much this is an apprenticeship. I got the job and moved there and a month in, the farm manager was saying something to all of us and was like “this isn’t an apprenticeship - it was described as a farm worker”. And I realized, oh ok, I’m just here for you to just like yell at and push around to have things done. I felt like there could have been a better way of delivering that. That can depend situation to situation. A farm worker can be seen as a negative connotation at least that is what was shared with me in that experience, but also I look at my operation and I don’t feel like I could say that it’s an apprenticeship. People who are working with me are farm workers - we are working together. That is kind of what it is. We learn by osmosis.
DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A FARMER? WHY OR WHY NOT.
I guess so - yeah. It is something I’m still trying to understand. That definition can vary too. The property I’m growing on is between ¼ -½ acre - is that a large scale garden? I do call myself a farmer and I’m practicing what I’ve learned as a farmer.
Usually what I say is that I have a small cut flower farm operation. Is it a farm or garden? I explain the size of it and let them decide.
WHAT KIND OF SUPPORT WOULD BE HELPFUL FOR PEOPLE WORKING ON FARMS NOT THEIR OWN?
I think community is really important.
Also being able to read between the lines when you’re looking for a farm job and knowing how to read the language, to decipher it and see is this going to be a good fit for me? Being able to know your expectations of a place.
Something that I found helpful when I was working for other growers is that there would be a CRAFT (Collaborative Regional Alliance for Farmer Training) series, a chance to go to other farms and meet other growers, compare experiences and that was always helpful.
One of the farms that I worked at in the Hudson valley was at first really good and I think I learned a lot about that scale of farming being on 15 acres. The efficiency, hustling, thinking about every single step that you’re making. It was really satisfying to me. On a personal level, I was bullied and the outcast lady on this farm crew. I felt really isolated from everyone else. It was a crew of 4-5 people and was very small. I felt emotionally not myself, not heard, so that was something I had conversations with my manager and the crew leader about. It would be okay for a couple weeks and then go back to the same dynamic, stuff like that was really hard. It’s a small crew and we were together all day every day, sweating, hustling through tasks, and it can be really uncomfortable. I’m not alone in having stuff like that - that kind stuff really freaks me out to this day. I like groups and people, but I’m definitely the solitary person within the group.
When I think of working for another person, I fear a group dynamic. I fear not fitting it. I know in this particular situation, it was a frustrating, gendered situation, that didn’t have systems in place to support me as a farmer. The people who are in positions of power not knowing what to do or how to make it better. At the time, one of the situations was handled well and another wasn’t handled well. For years, I have been pretty bitter about it, but also now I’m in this position where I am kind of the the only person to keep the rodeo and show moving every day. I don’t know what I would do. I do have ideas of what I would do, but I know how hard it could be to deal with interpersonal things when it’s July and the tomatoes are coming on and the weeds are high and you need to keep moving. I don’t know yet the balance of that - day to day farming and balancing the interpersonal stuff. In August, everyone is having a breakdown. How you deal with that is a lot. I do it every year and I feel like a crazy person.
We need an HR department for small farms across the United States. Some sort of emotional support for a farm.
ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE ABOUT YOURSELF & YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH FARMING? WHAT KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHT?
Something that I think a lot about is why are we not making more money doing what we are doing? I’ve always thought about it. As I get older, I have other things I also want in my life and I don’t always know how that will work. So if I want to have children, how will that work? If I want to go on vacation for a month or two, just figuring out things like that. With farming you work so hard and it’s so valuable, and yet we are paid so little and that’s really dumb to me. You look at the world right now - who is seen as essential workers - no one making top dollar is going to work, yet we are still going to work as farmers. When will that flip already? That’s something I’d like to see change. I don’t know how to make it change. There are lots of non-profit orgs you can work for and get a base salary, but that comes with stuff too.
It's hard to make a living.. Having benefits, having insurance, being able to pay for a mortgage. Life has expenses whether we like it or not, and it would be nice to feel a little more valued monetarily. I’m not saying I need to have all the money in the world.
WHAT IS YOUR OPINION/TAKE ON THE FARMER LUNCH? (DO YOU TAKE LUNCH, DO YOU SKIP LUNCH, DO YOU ENJOY TAKING LUNCH WITH YOUR CREW - FOR COMMUNITY BUILDING, IS THERE PRESSURE TO BE SOCIAL....)
That has changed for me throughout the years. When I was farming in Alabama, lunchtime was one of my favorite times of the day. We would cook together and enjoy each other’s company and relax, and take a walk and go get a coffee. It’s such a nice way to spend an hour and break up the day. Generally I love the farmer lunch. I love visiting friends who are having lunch on their farms, but last year was so much trouble shooting and trying to figure things out that I would forget to eat until dinner time because I would completely lose track at time. I wish I was better at it now but it’s just me most days. I have a person 2ish days per week so yeah, I’m hoping this coming year I’ll be able to be better about it. Where I’m renting land, there’s no place to sit or shade. I’m the only person on this property now, and it doesn’t feel the same to sit and stop and have lunch with myself for an hour.
It’s something that I do love and would love to have a part of my life again.